by Remez Sasson

read in Vietnamese

Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness or hurt feelings, or when plans don't turn out as desired. It also shows up when coming against opposition or criticism.

Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.

Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations. People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be always able to be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions. There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.

I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behavior.

Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.

Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.

If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.

Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.

I would like to suggest a few simple tips for inner detachment and peace of mind, which will help you overcome anger:

1. Devote a few minutes, at least once a day, to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger.

2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and slowly several times.

3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.

4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.

5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.

6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don't like.

7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.

8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.

9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behavior that otherwise could cause anger.

10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and more common sense.

11. Don't take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.

12. Find reasons to laugh more often.

http://successconsciousness.com/overcoming_anger_tips.htm